Mind & Body
by TheSecondThursday
Summary: All Amy wants is to be noticed by her clueless boyfriend.
1. Chapter 1 - Fine

_I'm an alcoholic and a bad writer, this is my first Fanfic and so I'm asking you go easy on me. I believe in giving credit where credit is due, the rights to these characters belongs to my favorite old Jews in Hollywood, Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady oh and the cold, cold studio, where all the magic happens Warner Brothers…_

_FYI: Any Italicized Underline is a thought occurring in their head... Mmmk! Enjoy!_

* * *

Sheldon is sitting in his spot while Amy stands in front of the TV  
"Well what do you think?"  
Sheldon scans Amy body with his eyes from head to toe for any abnormalities. He notice she's not wearing her normal attire, he shrugs it off, _probably Penny's influence_. He looks back up at Amy.  
"I'm not sure how you want me to respond."  
Amy frowns at her lanky boyfriend  
"Sheldon, how do I look?" she asked  
"Fine" he replies  
"Fine?" she asks  
"Yes, fine. There are no discoloration of the skin, well except your cheeks are flushed with color, but that's shouldn't cause any alarm. You're not bleeding, your eyes are not dilated, you're able to stand on your own two feet, your sinus from this angle appear to be fine, Amy you're fine."  
Amy looked down at Sheldon and sighed, _could he really be that clueless?_ she thought to herself.  
Amy then angled her head upward, placed her left hand on her hip  
"Sheldon is there anything different?" she tried again.  
"No. Is there something specific, I should be noting. I honestly don't understand the sudden inquiry?"  
"Is there anything different in my appearance?!"  
"Amy, as I've stated twice before, no. You're fine. What has gotten into you?"  
"Really Sheldon?"  
"Yes, now can we stop this nonsense, commence with date night, and proceed to the restaurant?"  
"No." she snapped back, _Oh no keep your cool Fowler._  
"What? Why? Did you want to eat after that movie? You know I can't do that the delay would result in tomorrow morning's bowel movement occurring at work."  
"No, Sheldon I don't want to eat after the movie. I don't want to eat at all."  
"Well that's just silly, did you have a meal before coming here?"  
"I don't know"  
"You don't know if you had eaten—"  
"Sheldon!"  
_What has gotten into her_ Sheldon thought.  
"Well, do you still wish to see the movie?"  
Annoyed Amy replied "I'm not in the mood."  
"You've been wanting to see this documentary for months, I don't understand."  
She was growing frustrated, he could see it, _She's quite moody... BINGO!_  
Amy still standing just stared at him with her hands crossed across her chest  
"Oh I see!" Sheldon continued  
Amy looked at him, her eyes wide with hope.  
"It's that time of the month, you have your menzies, and was asking me about your appearance because you think you might have... spotted. I can see how that can be frightfully embarrassing—"  
"NO! Sheldon not at all! I'm sorry I need to go..." _THIS venture, THIS night is embarrassing_ she thought as she made her way to the door.  
"W-Wait! Amy are you upset? It's nothing to be upset about, it's natural for a lady!"  
Amy picked up her purse from the kitchen counter.  
"Wh-What about date night?" Sheldon pleaded.  
_That's it!_Amy headed towards the apartment door and swung it open, she turned towards her oblivious boyfriend.  
"Really, you need to ask if I'm upset?! Goodbye Sheldon!"  
"Amy!" Sheldon sat in his spot puzzled and confused _what in the h-e double hockey stick is going on?_ As Amy stormed out of Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

* * *

**That's my first attempt and the first chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Clown

Amy reached her apartment tossed her keys and bag aside, and kicked off her snakeskin heels.  
She headed towards the kitchen and found the bottle of Moscato Wine Penny had given her for Christmas. She normally wouldn't drink alone, but after the events of tonight, she felt she needed it, she deserved it, she spent all afternoon, no, all week preparing herself for Thursday's date. And all she wanted was for Sheldon to just compliment her, _*Sigh_ she felt like she only embarrassed herself in front of him, like she had countless times before growing up in front of boys she had an interest in. The man she loves... _love? Don't get ahead of yourself, Sheldon didn't notice my makeover. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What was I hoping for? Sheldon to tell me how pretty my shoes are? Hah! That's a Bazinga. Sheldon Cooper would never_ she thought to herself as she poured some wine into her glass,_ love? hmph... I'm just a clown _Amy sipped her glass and began to cry.

After her glass of wine, Amy then headed into her bedroom and stood in front of her mirror, sulking, _I'm just not pretty,not even Raj wanted me, I don't have flawless blonde hair like Penny and Bernadette..._ She began checking herself out: beautiful pedicured toes, shaven legs, a new black leather peplum skirt that hugged her curves, a beautiful white collared top with sheer sleeves, a heavy necklace that rested on her collarbone. Amy then saw her face, her hair was disheveled, she hadn't straighten it for the date, she still had a hint of blush in her cheeks. She wore contacts, hoping Sheldon would notice her green eyes and the light application of purple eyeshadow. She had applied mascara to create big bashful lashes, but she can see it now running from her eyes, her nose was dripping, she frowned _wait..._

She headed into the living room, snatched up her heels that she had kicked aside, and grabbed the tissue box on the table beside her couch. Amy then went back into her bedroom and stood in front of the mirror again. She dried her cheeks and wiped up the mascara running below her eyes. She bent down and put on her pumps. She got up and straightened out her dress. She brushed her tousled brown hair with her fingers, _Now there, Amy Farrah Fowler you are a lady, you're beauti-..._ she stared at herself once more _if only you were beautiful enough to catch the attention of that CalTech Physicist_. She continued to stare into the mirror as pools of tears started forming in the eyes. She sighed and then fell back onto the edge of her bed, she sat there, _I look like a clown_ She laid back and began to cry.

She grabbed her phone and texted Penny: _It didn't work, I'm not beautiful enough for Sheldon Cooper._  
***Knock knock knock**  
"Amy?"  
She shot up


	3. Chapter 3 - Flowers

**Before arriving at Amy's Apartment:**

Leonard and Penny returned to the apartment from the shooting range, shortly after Amy had left, only to find Sheldon in his spot with a look of confusion.  
"I thought tonight is date night, where's Amy?" asked Leonard as he tossed his keys into the bowl.  
"She just left, quite upset" replied Sheldon  
"What did you do now?" Penny asked  
"Why are you implying I did something wrong? I just answered the odd set of questions, she had asked me." Sheldon explained.  
"You probably said something thoughtless again." Penny stated as she open the fridge for a bottle of orange juice.  
"I never say anything without a thought, why that's just silly!" Sheldon protested.  
"Well obviously you did, if you didn't, you and Amy would be on a date Dr. Cooper, what did she ask?" said Penny.  
"And I could be sleeping with my girlfriend" Leonard whispered to himself .  
"Well she asked me, 'how do I look?' and I replied 'fine' She then repeated the question twice more, growing cross, and I replied over and over again 'fine' then based on her mood, I concluded she was menstruating. She then left."  
"Sheldon!" Both Leonard and Penny yelled as they stared at him with disbelief.  
"No need to shout. I'm right here...um, well, anyways, Penny. You're a female. Could you possibly, help me fix this."  
"No." Penny replied  
"No?"  
"you hurt her Sheldon, only you can fix it. I'm not getting involved in this, every time you get into a fight with Amy, you come running to me, it's time you grow up genius! Buck up!"  
"Are you menstruating as well? I've read somewhere that women who—  
"Sheldon! You march your Texas hindquarter over to Amy's place or I will kick your ass over there"  
"Couldn't I just buy her a gift?"  
Penny stared at him "No I think Amy has one too many tiaras." Penny sipped her juice, _I was hoping to save this trick for something bigger_ "One day, Sheldon Cooper, that girl is going to leave you."  
"What?"  
"Remember you—"  
"Of course I remember, I have eidetic memory and that wasn't tea!"  
"Well then Mister."  
Sheldon let that thought sink in, Amy leaving him, he shook his head _No A__my is my woman._  
he looked up at the couple "Fine. I suppose you're right. Leonard let's go."  
"Wha-where are WE going?" asked Leonard  
"You're taking me to Amy's apartment." Sheldon replied. He got up, walked over to his desk to retrieve his jacket.  
"Bu-but me and Penny were... ugh fine."  
"Don't worry, I'll be right here waiting" Penny whispered into her boyfriends ear seductively.  
"Hurry up Leonard." Sheldon yelled as he made his way to the door  
"You got it! I'm like the Flash!" he kissed Penny on the cheek  
"No sir, I am, I called dibs after the last Halloween party." said Sheldon  
"Damn his Vulcan hearing."  
and with that the two men headed to Amy's apartment.

* * *

***Knock knock knock**  
"Amy?"  
She grabbed a nearby tissue and blew her nose  
***Knock knock—**  
She clenched her sheets, scared, she didn't him to see her weak and silly like this.  
***knock**  
"Amy? Are you home?"  
"No." she yelled from the bedroom.  
"Well that's absurd you're obviously home if you're responding. Oh... sarcasm, noted."  
"Go away!" she yelled again.  
"Now, now, I tried to be polite. If you don't let me in then, then I'll just use the key you gave me, from when I took care of you." he responded.  
"Don't you dare!" she replied, she wanted him to come in.

Sheldon stood outside her door, confused, should he listen or disobey her? He was scared and he was not a fan of arguments: Mom and Dad, Leonard and Penny, Howard and Raj, Howard and Bernadette... Arguing just resulted in too much yelling and irrational behavior that he didn't understand. Then again his friends were all still together. That thought provided a bit of relief, but he still wasn't sure what exactly he had done wrong, but he was well prepared to face the consequences. _One day that girl is gonna leave you_ Penny's voice ringing in his head, it's bad enough he knew concluded that fact, he didn't need someone else stating it. He bit his lower lip. _Come on Cooper, you can do this_ he stared down at his shoes _One carries on with this nonsense because one cares _Sheldon looked back up, inserted Amy's key into the door knob and proceeded to open the door.

Amy heard her apartment door locks give in. She quickly stood up from her bed and took a quick look in the mirror and quickly composed herself. Cleared the mascara residue below her puffy red eyes again and made her way to her living room.

Sheldon was standing by the kitchen his eyes glued to the floor with his hands behind his back. He looked like a toddler, ashamed. Amy just stared at him.  
"My understanding from countless romantic movies that Penny had subjected me to, is that the most appropriate way to apologize is in person. Also noted is that bearing a simple gift is also appropriate..."  
His head still down he then brought his hands forward and in it a bouquet of flowers.  
"...as Leonard and I drove towards your home this evening, I caught glimpse of these roses, red like the cardigan you wore on the date, you prepared us spaghetti. I asked him to stop the car so that I may purchase them for you."  
Sheldon then looked up at Amy and handed her the flowers.  
Amy took the bouquet a little surprised  
"Oh no, Amy, you're upset."  
Amy was a little surprised by his comment she thought she had cleared up any evidence that would indicate that she had been crying.  
"No I'm not" she lied  
"Have you been crying?" Sheldon asked.  
"It's nothing, Sheldon."  
"It's not nothing your eyes are puffy and red. Please sit and make yourself comfortable, I'll make us some tea."  
Taken aback, Amy obeyed.


End file.
